Bridal Marketing (4)

How to empower women searching for Mr. Right
There is a social time bomb ticking in many parts of the world. If it is not detonated, it will explode with fatal consequences. Simply put, single women above 30 are finding it increasingly difficult to get husbands, whose supply seems to be reducing daily while demand for them is increasing. Why is this so? There are many reasons. Some are economic, others cultural and sociological. And the message is clear: The struggles of single women to get Mr. Right are building into increasing frustration. They need to be empowered to get the type of husbands they desire.

For some women, many forces stop them from getting husbands. Some of these forces are spiritual and psychological. And they have become a big burden for thousands of women worldwide. This is causing pain, emotional turmoil and regret for many marriageable women and their families. Yet no medium of empowerment seems to be coming. That help has come with my new book on bridal marketing.
The joy of every parent is to train his or her daughter through life and see her get married. This is the desire of every woman. And when she does not marry as at when due, her expectation of becoming a wife and a mother turns into frustration. This has to stop! What does it take for a parent to train a daughter and prepare her for marriage? Plenty of investments, training, care, advice, sacrifice and guidance over the years to equip her properly for the marital challenges she will face when she becomes a man’s wife.

So, what would be the vibes in any family where a girl born 30 years ago matures into a woman; she is well educated and ready for marriage but no husband is forth coming? Family quarrels will begin. Big daughter turns against her mother. This is the trademark of “senior girls” who want to get married, but the vicious forces rocking the market are making it increasingly difficult for them to do so.
The husbands are still there in the market no doubt. But as technology, markets and economies change, so are men changing their bridal perception and attitude to marriage. Besides, many marriageable men especially in the battered economies of African countries are becoming increasingly poor as income falls. If a man is not financially able, how can he marry? A good number of men have discovered to their dismay that though they are willing to marry, they are not able. There is pain on both sides of the marriage divide.
But the pressure is more on women because their biological clocks are ticking. The older they become, the less marketable they become in the marriage market. Not so with men. Even at 45, a man can comfortably marry a 20-year old girl so long as he is financially able. This challenge explains the statement, “I can and I will.” Five words loaded with desire and action. The problem I have identified for men and women, who want to marry, is not with the desire- I want or I will. It is with the ability to fulfill that desire, that is, I can.

The critical stages
Thousands of women above 30 years desire to get husbands. They are willing. But some of them cannot. Even if they can, they do so with pain, tension and delay. For men, it is a 50/50 split. One half wants to marry, but low-income power makes it difficult for them to do so. The other half can, but they are not willing. This one is a bigger problem. So when a single woman gets entangled with this can- do but will- not man, and she thinks she has everything going for her, she is in trouble.

She just cannot understand why Michael cannot propose marriage. She throws everything into the relationship, giving it all her time, emotions and self only to be disappointed. Then she weeps: “Oh God, I gave him everything.” What she fails to understand is that her strategy was wrong. All her attention was on the man’s ability- I can, without focusing on his commitment- I will, where the real problem lies.
Now you can understand why many relationships do not end in marriage. The first thing any woman in a serious relationship should determine is the ability and commitment of her man for marriage. There has to be a balance for that marriage proposal to come from the man. If there is any imbalance, there will be no proposal.

My Email: ericosamba@yahoo.com